Do you ask or do you take?

When it comes to dating and relationships, it is important to know what's healthy for a relationship and what's not. The Residence Hall Association hosted a program called "Can I Kiss You?" last Wednesday in Harrison Auditorium.

Mike Domitrz hosted the program with a unique and thoughtful approach to dating, relationships, and sexual assault. Everyone knows about the game, and what it takes to pull the right guy or girl, but Domitrz raised the question: Why not just ask for what you really want?

Of course when he asked the audience, replies from fear all the way to rejection came screaming out of everyone's mouth. Domitrz explained that rejection is not really feared by many if they try over and over again and control is not an issue if there is honesty.

"It's a little selfish excuse to fear rejection," said Domitrz. "If two people can talk about what they want, no one is losing control."

Sophomore Nakisha Midder enjoyed the Domitrz explanation of rejection. "I like that he proved men aren't in fact afraid of rejection, but just try to avoid it," said Midder.

Domitrz also talked about roles in relationships. Traditional gender roles call for a woman to want her man to just know what she wants without her telling him, but Domitrz explained how tradition has many flaws.

"Tradition has taught women to play a certain role in relationships, so if tradition does not give you your full rights why continue to follow it?" said Domitrz.

After the relationship area, Domitrz moved on to a more serious topic, sexual assault. He explained that it is the role of the woman or man to ask for anything they want, because the worst thing that could happen is to get "no" as a response. You should always have the consent of the other person before any intimate move is made.

Domitrz gave a personal story of sexual assault, statistics on rape and educated the audience on what they could do to prevent it.

"I thought that was so cool of him to mention and share that piece of his life with us," said Midder.

"It was most important to let young people know that you have to ask whether it is a male or female, friend or no friend; you need permission," said Residence Hall director Elizabeth Cooper.

Ten percent of sexual assaults are reported and seven percent of those cases are said to be false because they are eventually dropped. One in every four women has been or will be raped in their lifetime, and more importantly, rape is a battle that African-American women have dealt with since slavery.

For a long time it wasn't considered rape in any black women's case. The sexual violence rate for black women is estimated to be around 40 percent by the age if 18. Domitrz believes that we can stop this type of crime by correcting and educating each other.

Cooper shared her thoughts on why she felt this program was so important to all college students.

"I wanted the freshmen to hear this because they are so trusting," said Cooper. "They don't really know a person, but they still go; it's important for us to educate our residents this issue."

"Teach each other to ask," said Domitrz. "Open at least three doors to three people you know and tell them that if they have been assaulted they can come to you." Domitrz explained that many sexual assault survivors do not come forth and tell anyone out of fear and shame.

The program educated the audience and left them with vital information that could not only change their lives but change the lives of those around them.

"It was a very good program, there was interaction and he engaged the students," said Cooper. "The age difference had no effect on the response from the students."

"If the advice given in the program is followed, I believe a drastic change would result in a lot of sex crimes," said Midder.